Madigan Reens, Staff Writer

       It’s that time of year again. And by “that time” I actually mean the worst time. 

       The Thanksgiving slump.

       I’m joking. Mostly. It’s difficult to have this wacky holiday period in between everyone’s absolute two favorite holidays. (And by the way, your birthday DOES NOT count as a holiday). I’m talking about Halloween and Christmas (and Chanukah or any other winter holiday), which are what make the holiday season, without a doubt, the best time of the year. However, their grandeur and magnificence is squashed by some big turkey (which no one actually enjoys eating). So, I propose that we move Thanksgiving into the middle of May. 

       Now I know what you’re thinking, “Won’t that disturb holidays on that side of 

the year?” But sadly, you would be wrong. The optimal location in the middle of May would separate Thanksgiving far enough away from New Years, Valentines Day, and St. Patrick’s Day, and also be a separate entity from the 4th of July. The truth is, the middle of May is barren and without major holidays, which is exactly why we should spice it up with Thanksgiving. Also, taking it away from the fall/winter season would allow for Holiday music to be played for a longer period of time, and we all need that right now. Plus, you get Christmas decorations for almost a month and a half (getting your money’s worth). Sounds to me like a pretty awesome deal. 

       I can hear your doubts: “What about what the holiday signifies?” Oh, you mean the reminder to Native Americans of the genocide of millions of their people, the theft of their lands, and the relentless assault on their cultures. While it may not necessarily signify this in modern day, it definitely needs some re-branding. With the move of Thanksgiving we could continue themes of gratefulness, friends, and family, while adding an aspect of remembrance for the oppression and horrific events that the holiday represents. 

       And there’s another thing, the food. Let’s just be honest, it could be doing a lot better. Who truthfully enjoys eating tasteless turkey, mushy sweet potatoes, and sour cranberries. It’s full of fruity loafs that you definitely don’t want to consume and by this point were already sick of pumpkin spice. I say that we should completely rework the food plan to some delicious staples. We could always enhance the original foods. For instance doing a shredded turkey bbq sandwich, with some extra cheesy mac n cheese, or possibly a cornucopia of potatoes: french fries, tater tots, baked and mashed potatoes. Or we could entirely change the menu and push a bringing together of many different cultures. We could celebrate our unique heritage by bringing food from our own cultures, and sampling others. 

       Personally, I believe that my new plan for Thanksgiving is unmatched, and it should be adapted right away.  In the end, I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving break. Enjoy the presence of your families and friends and love that brightens your life, and remember to thank the people you are grateful for.